Postpartum Depression

It’s been a pretty crazy past few days.  I can say that while I’m still feeling down in the dumps with postpartum depression, it does seem to be getting better than it was a week ago.  I haven’t blogged in a week because things have been so out of whack and I didn’t want to sound like such a Debbie-Downer in any posts.  I’ve noticed that when I’m feeling the worst, I retreat from blogging, answering my phone, and doing anything that I used to enjoy doing.

It’s like a force that is stronger than me comes over me and I just sulk in the house.  I know that answering my phone, tweeting on twitter, blogging, and getting out of the house actually makes me feel better, but some days I just [click to continue…]

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Yesterday was the day I was dreading, but I was also hopeful at the same time.  It was the meeting of a psychiatrist to help with my postpartum depression and I really had mixed emotions.

On one hand I knew that I had to get help so that I could be a better mom to little Monkey, a better wife to my husband, and be able to get through the day without beating myself up, which I’ve gotten pretty good at lately.

But on the other hand, a way more selfish hand, [click to continue…]

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First of all, even though I have not commented on my previous blog posts yet, please know how much I appreciate what all of you had to say about my postpartum depression.

After I left to go to the grocery story yesterday, I was reading the comments on my phone while driving.  I was crying as I was reading them so I decided to put my phone down until I got into the parking lot.

There’s a lot you can’t see when tears are in the way.

As soon as I parked my car I picked my phone back up.  I think there were only [click to continue…]

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Now that motherhood has been a part of my life for almost 5 weeks, I feel a little more confident about all things mom and baby related.  Notice I said “a little more confident”… I still have a long ways to go, but looking back to when Monkey was just born, I have come a long way.  There’s still so much for me to learn and room for my confidence to increase tenfold.

Motherhood is so unique that nothing except experience can really prepare you.  You can read books, blogs, or listen to advice from parents, but it will not be the same when you have a child.  It’s just something that you need to [click to continue…]

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My mom is coming over on Friday night so that Tarzan and I can have a date night.  I’m excited about spending time with my husband because it seems like it’s been forever.  Shoot, it’s been forever since we slept in the same bed!

While I’m looking forward to getting out for a few hours, I’m not sure what we will do.  I think I’d rather go into my bedroom, shut the door, and get some good sleep for once, but then I think about how important having a date night is.

Before getting pregnant Tarzan and I would have our [click to continue…]

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This will more than likely be my first and last rant on anything on this blog.  I just have a few things to get off my chest and I apologize ahead of time for pressing the pause button on our normally scheduled blog posts…

Even before I begin, I just [click to continue…]

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So I’m sitting here on the couch while Tarzan is feeding Monkey.   What a day it’s been!  I have a massive headache due to all of the crying I’ve done today and my husband has been wonderful in taking over as the role of parent for little Monkey for a bit while I ran out to get my medicine and a few other things.

Let me back up and explain what happened…

I read my post to Tarzan and couldn’t get through it without crying a few times.  The look on his face was complete shock when I was finished reading everything.  He told me that he wanted me to call my OB immediately.  I went back and forth with [click to continue…]

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What’s going on with me lately?  It’s been a tough few days.  I’ve never felt so overwhelmed as I have right now.  I’ve never felt like I just wanted to give up on something as much as I have lately.

To be honest, part of me wonders if this is postpartum depression, but the other part of me just says, “No you’re a new mom and this is normal“.

But is it?

I will admit that I love my baby so much, but I still don’t feel like I’ve bonded with him.  I still don’t feel like I know what he wants.  I still think about my old life and how much easier that was.  I still cry when it just feels like it’s too much for me.  I feel guilty [click to continue…]

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Things are finally starting to settle down and I think the postpartum baby blues have completely left my body now.  It feels nice to be on my computer again since little Monkey is sleeping.  I know that I’m supposed to sleep when he does, but I can’t grasp napping during the day just yet.  (Maybe I’m just not tired enough?!)

I wish things weren’t so crazy when we first got home because I would have loved to blog about how I was feeling.  I’ll try my best to recap my feelings for you now, but I feel completely different now, which is such a good thing!

I couldn’t wait to be discharged from the hospital last Saturday.  I was ready to go!  It was an exciting time to have Tarzan pack up the car and for me and Monkey to be wheeled down to meet him at the car.  It was also a scary [click to continue…]

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